Thursday Thoughts: Finding Peace

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After months and months of prayer, counsel and discussion you finally make a decision. You feel at peace with it and at peace that God has guided you in this direction. You are excited to share what God has done in your life and ready to move forward. Yet, when you share what's been on your heart and what you believe God has led you to...OPPOSITION!!

Have you ever been there?

It's tough. It's lonely. It's...you fill in the blank. Our families philosophy has changed significantly in the past several years. Some times it's been readily accepted. And other times...not so much.

The Hubster is reading a life-changing book entitled, "Hungry for More of Jesus" by David Wilkerson. He talks about this exact situation and in his words and wisdom, I find comfort and peace.

God knows us! He permits our afflictions, saying, "You are the kind who forgets Me in good times. You neglect Me when all is well. But I love you too much to lose you to the devil. I'll awaken you through affliction, to remind you of how short life is and to make you dependent on Me."

Here are some good arguments to use when the devil tells you godly people don't suffer:

1. Christ suffered in the flesh mightily - and He was perfect.

2. Paul and all our Church fathers suffered great afflictions, yet God loved them dearly and used them mightily.

3. To the godly, suffering is not a sign of God's displeasure but a sign of sonship. Whom He loves, He chastens.

4. Every affliction is intended for my spiritual benefit and growth, and to equip me to sympathize with others in need.

5. My suffering may be grievous and painful. But if I'll accept it, afterward it will bear the fruit of holiness and pure love for God.

-Hungry for More of Jesus, pg. 163

This week has been particularly difficult for me. Not only is it coming up on the 2-month Anniversary of my Daddy's death, there are a lot of changes in store for our family. Some of them scary, some of them hopeful...but ALL of them for God's Glory!

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” 

-John 16:33, ESV

Blessings,

Annette

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Thursday Thoughts: In a funk?

I found this just sitting on my computer. Although some of it is no longer true (I have found new reasons to write), I had to finish writing it. I know other people must have times like this too and I hope to minister to you who find yourself a little “lost” at times.

“I wish I was better at writing on this thing. I just haven't felt much like writing. It's been a hard couple months and I haven't found a lot I wanted to write about. Sadness seems to be around every corner and I'm hoping we are just getting the hard stuff for this year out of the way early.  It’s so easy to let life suck you in and get you down.  It's hard not to let Satan slip in and turn life's difficulties into more pain and sadness. I'm normally such an optimistic person.....to a fault.....and it's hard for me to feel down in the dumps. I'm great at faking a smile and pretending everything is ok......even when all I want to do is cry for a whole day. I can cry with the best of them when I'm happy or overjoyed, but sadness, pain, anger.......anything that makes me feel vulnerable, I bury it deep. Don't shed a tear. I'm really good at hiding my imperfections and keeping people thinking "she's got it all together".......she doesn't.  I'm really good at leaving my troubles at the door......even when i feel like I'm drowning in them.  I don't have these "funks" very often, thank goodness, but then again since they are so rare....I don't really know what to do when I get in one.” (Mid 2011)

(Continued 2012)

Then I am reminded....I am a daughter of THE King. No matter what I've done, what I'm going through....my value to Him is not diminished.  My debt is paid.  My pain has been felt. I have to learn to accept that and take advantage of the beautiful gift my Savior gave to me.  All of life's sorrows, pain, heartbreak, fear, anger and suffering......Christ felt it......experienced it.....a billion times over. I have to let it go. I have to do better. I have to allow His atoning sacrifice to work in my life. It wasn't just for my sins......it was for all of my pain. How can I deny this gift he so lovingly and selflessly gave? After all, even if I was the only one who needed saving......He still would have come for me.

Now, here me on this. I am not saying, you should completely forget about your sadness or deny your feelings. But, I am saying that if we don’t rely on our Heavenly Father to restore us and lift us up during those times, then who are we really? Are we really His child if we don’t run to Him with our problems?

My middles are completely attached to their own blankies. Whenever they get hurt, scared or tired they want to find those blankies. They want to hold them, cuddle them and rub on them. Those blankies make them feel safe. Protected. And most often, after they find their beloved blankies, they find Momma or Daddy. They want to know we’re here for them too.

Shouldn’t we treat our Heavenly Father the same way? When we have troubles, worries, hurts…should we not run to His Word for wisdom, peace and comfort. He so desperately wants us to rely on Him and only Him. He will always be there with the right words, a peace that passes all understanding and His loving, comforting arms that hold us tight.

Allow His Word to be your “blankie”. Trust Him to do his part and He will never let you down. I promise!

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“Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?” Matthew 6:26 (NASB)

  

Blessings,

Annette

Teachable Tuesdays: Homeschool Series Part I: Homeschool Bliss

The Hubster helping out in the Science department with an experiment

Now is the time of year parents start thinking about the next school year. Do we want to homeschool our kids? Do we continue homeschooling?

We went through this same process a couple years ago. At the time, I had our oldest who was turning five in June, Mr. Mouse who just turned one in February and another little bundle due in April. Was I crazy? How in the world could I homeschool a Kindergartner with two babies in tow? In all honesty, I was absolutely terrified!

But, I knew I had bathed this decision in prayer and this…this was what God had called me to do. I knew I needed to trust Him and allow Him to guide me through this process.

I said I was terrified. But, that’s only half the story. While I was terrified, that was simply whether or not I would/could fit it all in during our already busy day. I was not, however, terrified about the actual schooling itself. In fact, that excited me. I loved school growing up and I just knew my kids were going to love it too.

HA! Unfortunately, my oldest does not share my sentiments. In fact, we’re quite opposites when it comes to school. To be honest, I had visions of BLISS! I just knew homeschooling was going to be wonderful!! I was most nervous about teaching him to read. And that was the easiest thing I did!! He picked it up so quick. It was like a dream! Literally!!

I love paperwork…He loathes paperwork.

I love English, Grammar…He despises Spelling, Grammar.

I strongly dislike Math (although I’m good at it)…He loves Math and numbers.

I loathe History…He eats up our History lessons.

I loved Handwriting in school…He would rather have his teeth pulled out!

So, as you can imagine…our first year was quite the struggle. And, truth be told…our second hasn’t been much smoother. (Although, I have some new techniques I’m starting to implement, so I’ll let you know how they go.) I have really had to work at school with him. Now, I can already tell Mr. Mouse is going to be an all-together different challenge and my oldest daughter is going to be like her mother. She loves to color, write and learn.

In fact, as I write this post, my oldest is sitting at the table working on his papers. Now these papers should have taken him 30 minutes or less-literally. And now we’re going on 50 minutes!! I’m telling you…it’s like pulling teeth!

I hope I am not alone in this. Surely some of you out there also thought your homeschooling experience was going to be quite different than it is! I have to be honest, it has been taxing. I am exhausted on school days and I often wonder if I can, or even should continue on. But, I know what the Lord has placed on my heart. I know I am called to teach my children at home.

So, here are a few steps I have taken and found to work when encountering one of those particularly difficult school days.

1. Start your schooling session with prayer. I know we begin our days with prayer, but starting your schooling session with prayer will re-focus not only you, but your kids. We often do our Bible time at the beginning of our lessons to give us even more focus.
2. Don’t be afraid to change it up a bit. If your child is having difficulty learning fractions, ask them to help you in the kitchen! If they’re having trouble with concentration, give them an activity to do while you’re teaching. My son often stands at the table while we read our Science or History lessons. Sometimes I find him standing to do his Math papers too. This does seem to help, so my OCD self has learned to let this be okay. (Hopefully my daughter will be the quiet one…but that’s not looking likely either! She has two older brothers for pete’s sake!)
3. Let loose of your OCD ways and have FUN!! Science lessons and experiments should be FUN and EXCITING!! So, find something active they can do to enhance the lesson. Take a nice nature walk outside and collect leaves or name clouds. Or better yet…lie down with your kids on the driveway or even your trampoline and make shapes out of the clouds!! I remember doing that as a child and loving it! What a FUN and relaxing time you will have. Just throw in some learning while you’re at it and you’re good!
4. Don’t be afraid to get messy!! Okay, I’ll be honest…this is my most difficult one! I don’t like things to be messy. I love to be organized, although my house might reflect otherwise. But, hey! I’m working on it! I find some of the cutest and most adorable crafts on Pinterest for my preschoolers and I find myself not doing them because it will get messy. SHAME ON ME!!!! Kids, especially preschoolers, are so tactile that I am doing a dis-service to my own children if I don’t take advantage of it during these most impressionable times!
5. Don’t be afraid to change curriculum-even in the middle of the year! If the curriculum you loved for your 2^nd grader is not working with their learning style for some reason – Change it! I have been struggling with this one in Math. The curriculum I use is really great, but I think he needs more. I just can’t find what I think will work. So, I will continue to pray for God to lead me to the right one. (P.S. I just hope its soon!)
6. And, last…take a break! Don’t forget to take a day off every now and then. And don’t be afraid to take an impromptu day off if you and/or your child(ren) need it. We frequently visit the Zoo on nice days (we have a membership…WOO HOO!!) and do our learning there. We find new signs to read or print off a BINGO game to play while we’re there. It’s a great way to have fun while learning and spend time with the family.

These are not scientifically proven facts, but simply my opinions and I have found they work pretty well for us. Some days are definitely better than others, but learning how to defuse those difficult days has helped tremendously.

What are some “de-fusing” techniques you use at your house? Leave a tip in the comments below!! I would love to hear your tips and ideas!

Blessings,

Annette

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Thursday Thoughts: Helping Children deal with grief, trials and death

So, these past few weeks have been a bit of a blur for me. It seems that trial after trial is hitting our family all at once. (Read more here.) But, it has given us great talking points with our 6-yr old.

I consulted a friend who worked in Hospice for 9-10 years on how to handle this whole situation. I had so many questions. How do we tell him? What do we tell him? How much should we leave out? How often do we let him visit the hospital? And on and on. Her answers, from her past experiences, were very helpful. So, I thought I’d share a few of her tips with you all, just in case you find yourself in the same situation someday.

How do we tell him? You just need to sit him down and calmly explain what is going on. You don’t need to give too much detail, unless he asks questions. You need to find a time when it can just be him alone and no other distractions, such as when the other children are napping.

What do we tell him? Enough, but not too much. (Now how vague is that?) In our case, we should tell him his Papa has cancer and that it is making him very sick. The Hubster also went on to say that “God may take Papa home soon. Do you know what that means?” My son says, “Yes, to his house down the street.” “No. When God takes us home, it means to Heaven.” He was real quiet. And the Hubster followed up with, “Do you have any questions?” That left it open for him to pursue anything he didn’t understand.

How much should we leave out? You don’t need to give gory details. Give just enough for them to be satisfied.

How often do we let him visit the hospital? As often as you want or he wants. As long as it’s okay with the patient. It is the parents call whether or not you want him up there when things are nearing the end. But, some kids need to see things to process them and others are okay with just knowing it happened. You know your children and their personalities, so the parents need to judge.

She also said, that in her experiences, the more the child(ren) were involved in the process the more at ease they were. For instance, one of her patients had a feeding tube and she invited the child over to help with the “feeding.” This made the tubing less scary and gave the child more confidence to visit his loved one.

If the child asks questions and is extremely curious, its okay to answer them. They will know if you’re lying to them, so don’t! BUT…answer ONLY their question. Don’t give them more information than they ask for. It can be overwhelming to them just as it is to us. But, they will need more time to process. So, don’t be surprised if they shake it off and go play for a while and come back with more questions. That is normal.

Overall, the point is, don’t hold back if the child is curious. It’s normal and perfectly okay (and even advised) to involve them in the process. Death can be a scary thing for a child because it is unknown and confusing. But, with PRAYER and God’s guidance you will have the right words to say at the right time.

I hope this helps those of you dealing with grief, trials and death. Just knowing what to say and have some of those questions answered was comforting to me as a mother.

I will leave you with an uplifting, child-like faith story: On the way to church last night, I was asking my 6yr old if he understood what Daddy told him earlier. He said yes and I asked if he had questions. He said no. I said, Really? (Not that I particularly wanted him to ask me a question, but I want him to understand..) He paused, took in a deep breath and exhaled quickly. Then, he looked at me and said (in a semi-sarcastic tone, as in…duh Mom…), “Mom…it’s okay. I know Papa’s a Christian and has Jesus in his heart. He’s going to heaven. Don’t worry…I’ll see him again!” Tears of JOY filled my eyes as I heard my son speak those sweet, sweet words. I am blessed!! Truly, truly BLESSED!!

Have any of you dealt with a trial in your family? How did you handle telling your children? What advice would you give others going through such trials?

Blessings,

Annette

Update on my daddy: They are still running more tests. Today their primary concern is stopping the bleeding in the bladder after his procedure on Monday. He is starting to have back spasms which cause his heart rate to jump up, so please be in prayer for this. They are able to control it with pain medication. Thank you for your kind words and support during this time. We feel a peace that only our Lord and Savior can give and I know it is because we are being bathed in prayer.

Scriptural Sunday – 15 January 2012

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

I Peter 5:6-7

This Sunday I found myself at home with three, yes THREE, sick littles. My three youngest (ages 4.5m, 20m & 35m) have been cooped up in this house with RSV – and I along with them. We’ve made 3 trips to the doctor and one to the ER. It’s been a long sleepless, exhausting, emotionally draining week. Frankly though, I don’t feel very rested today – our “day of rest.” Maybe that’s why this verse kept playing over and over in my head. I may not be able to catch up on laundry, dishes or sleep, but if I humbly seek Him and cast all my cares upon Him, I will find rest. I will be restored. It may not be in the physical sense we’ve always known as “rest”, but I will find wholeness in Him. And that wholeness will restore my soul. And in that…that restored soul…there I will find rest. I’m so thankful that I have a loving and caring Heavenly Father whom I can cast all my cares upon. He will take the burden from me - no matter how small it is – He truly cares! What a blessing that is!

So, even though I may be completely exhausted from the long week of sickies in my house, I rest in the fact that my Heavenly Father can and will sustain me. He will be there for me at 2am when my 2yo can’t breath and needs a breathing treatment. He will be there for me at 9:30pm when the hubster is getting ready to leave for his overnight shift and I’m feeling all alone. He will even be there for me when I wake up from a blissfully restful night of sleep. Okay…who am I kidding? That never happens! But, someday it will and there He will be…waiting.

Blessings,

Annette